Aiyaiyaiyaiyai ... I'm horrible at updating this thing...
Don't you think Arial is just the nicest font ... it's just so nice.. and rounded .. so much nicer than this disgusting one that they always make u submit your assignments and shit in... I always type out the whole essay/response/whatever in Arial first and then change it all to le yuck afterwards... just gives me such a horrible headache... let the default font be Arial dammit!!!
...
Anyyyyways ........moving right along......
I went to Seven on Saturday night.. I knowww last time I said I wouldn't ever ever go clubbing again..but...
forever is just a commitment thats a bit too far fetched =P
So anyways, clubbing was .. interesting ...
I was with one of my girl friends, let's call her Pretty (I am not being biased).
While we were clubbing .. we saw this rather (and to put it nicely) unattractive girl, let's give her the uber-cute name Gums (this may or may not have anything to do with her abundance of a fleshy gooey substance clearly visible in her mouth each time she attempted to smile).
*biased...who me?* *blinks innocently*
Anyways, Pretty and Gums had rather an interesting history involving an ex boyfriend and were thus arch-nemesis who were on friendly terms...which is pretty whacked.. makes my head spin
like this --> @_@
Now.. this is the first time Pretty and Gums have actually met in RL (Real life for u noobs).
And this is where the 'battle of female politics' comes in.
Pretty hates Gums's guts. I'm pretty (<-- hehe)sure Gums feels the same way.
Gums actually came up to Pretty with a super fake gummy smile
"Hi.. I'm GUMS!! You must be The Pretty!"
Pretty gave an equally fake but much more attractive smile back "Hello gums~~"
They then preceded to make small talk like good friends until Gums decided the dancefloor was in need of some excitement in the form of a dinosaur-faced can't-dance-but-still-try-to-be-sexy individual which would of coz be no other than her lovely self.
Now.. we introduce a new character..Mr Sleaze.
Mr Sleaze is your average clubbing guy..
ugly, desperate, and sleazy.
ugly, desperate, and sleazy.
Mr Sleaze tries to hit on Pretty first. While chatting away.. he all of a sudden tries to force her into a surprise kiss. Of course, having standards, pretty refuses. Being the slimeball he is.. he tries to coax her into 'just a little kiss'.
Which is just repulsive.
Now, seeing that he has no chance with her.. he decides to find a new target.. who just happened to be sitting RIGHT NEXT TO PRETTY while he tried to kiss her.. which would be .. moi. Using EXACTLY the same dirty tactic Mr Sleaze attempts to victimize his second pair lips for the night.
Disgusting and grossed out, I pushed him away and we moved away to somewhere else.
About 30 minutes later....
Perhaps due to his many failures, perhaps due to desperation, perhaps stung by too much rejection, perhaps even due to a gum fetish.. we would never know for sure...
Imagine the shock of our lives we got when looking up.. me and Pretty saw Gums and Mr Sleaze getting it on in the middle of the room.
Full on tonsil hockey and groping.
It was absolutely disgusting.
This just reaffirmed that we were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT in shaking off the advances of Mr Sleaze.
How tottally disgusting of him.
To keep moving down the assembly line until he found success in the reject bin.
How utterly gross.
Also.. Gums.. knowing full well she was way down in the line of his potential targets... yet still allowing him to have his moment of fun.
This just proves what an attention seeking whore she is. GODDAMN!
The moral of the story is:
Disgusting people deserve each other.
1 comment:
LMFAOOOOOOOOO
This seriously made me roll on the floor laughing
your writing is so simple and honest
love it!
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