Fairytales are bullshit

Don't let the title fool you.. I love listening to fairy tales as much as the next person. Being transported to distant places, and faraway lands, battles between heroes and villains, good and evil..

HOWEVER !!

when you think about it on another level (ie i was bored and in a pissy mood), your realize the message being sent out by many of these treasured stories, which have been passed down for generations is BULLSHIT.

Take Cinderella for example. Beautiful innocent girl, bullied by her evil stepsisters, made to wear rags and locked up in her own house as a slave. However, she's so pure and innocent she never fights back, takes all their shit and in the end her good karma and beauty allows her to wed a fucking prince, and be forever freed from her former life of hell.

Nice inspiring story?? What a load of crock.

Why are 'ugly' people always portrayed as the evil ones?? Why do the "evil" step sisters just happen to ALL be "ugly"? Why is good, innocent little Cinderella PRETTY with such PERFECTION that even a pumpkin would come to her aid in her time of distress?

Can her sisters help being born 'ugly' compared to little miss perfect Cinderella? NO! They all try and dress up to impress the prince as well, and WHY the hell wouldn't they??? Why must the story be told in such a biased way that the audience secretly sneer at their attempts at getting dolled up and pretty. What, just coz they are 'ugly' they deserve to get bagged out for wearing pretty dresses and curling their hair?!?!

Why is Cinderella such a little useless shit that when everyone is out of the house all she can do is sit around and cry? She has hands, she has feet. Bloody get up off the ground, nick into your sister's closet, borrow a dress and go to the damn party yourself. You don't need to sit around and cry and be saved by an imaginary fat woman who claims to be your fairy godmother. That's not called good karma turning your life around, it's called insanity that's what it is.

I would LOVE if it someone wrote a story where it turns out that little miss perfect Cinderella is the EVIL bitch and the 3 stepsisters are actually nice people that were just unfortunately not blessed with good looks. The story would go something like this...


There once lived a man who had 4 daughters. Daughter 1 from his first wife (who was extremely hot but married him for his money and then dumped him when his business failed and ran off with the next rich guy, dumping the kid with him). Daughters 2 - 4 from his second wife (who was a woman from a nearby town, who did not have a pretty face and was shunned by everyone in the damn judgmental society they lived in coz she was a smidge overweight and had a large mole on her face but was an extremely kind person and married him for LOVE.) 


Daughter 1 was extremely pretty and innocent looking and in everyone's eyes she could do no wrong. Daughter's 2 - 4 were not so lucky and ppl did not trust their thin lips and mean looking eyes. 


However, in reality Daughter 1 was a little bitch who breezed through life based on her looks - batting her eyelashes and getting dashing young men to do things for her in return for a little feel up her skirt or down her top. Her daily source of entertainment was letting her 'ugly' stepsisters take the fall for all her evil little plots while making herself always seem like the hapless victim. In societies eyes she was the virgin Mary, however behind the scenes she was the spawn of satan. 


Daughters 2 - 4 were not as lucky as daughter 1, they actually had to WORK hard for everything they earned, and a lot of times only to have their stunningly pretty bitch sister take all the credit.


Blah blah blah....[insert several scenarios to illustrate the point]


...there were so many beautiful girls in the room but the prince only saw her. Her with her slightly crooked nose and dangerously-close-to-ripping dress from the back fat about to spill out. He had his share of fun with pretty blondes, brunettes, red heads... but when it came time to actually TALK to them, he wanted to claw his eyes out with the shiny antique silver cutlery he took his breakfast with each morning. They were soo BORING and superficial. All they cared about was how many servants he would give them after they married and how many jewels he would give her so she could show off to her friends. It was as if their life's ambition was to tie him down and expect him to provide for them the rest of their life. He felt like the fairytale version of an ATM (whatever that is...)


But this girl, this girl and her two sisters with their hereditary gappy toothed smile and fuzzy eyebrows were different......


Blahblahbalh... 50 years down the track all 4 sisters have aged, teeth have dropped out, hair is grey... In terms of looks, they are finally on the same level. However, looking at his wife by his side, the KING knows he made the right choice.


SEE!!! WHy can't the prince fall in love with the "ugly" stepsister?!?!?! You can't just SEE some pretty Cinderella and just fall in love and wanna marry her. What if she's some damn psycho??? It's a pretty shitty system if you are looking for your future wife based on how she looks and dances at a ball..

sighh......

I wish someone (a better writer than me obviously) would actually rewrite these classic fairy tales with a healthy dose of reality. I would be the first in line to buy it :)

Anyways, this is just some random not very well written post..I still do love the classic Cinderella story, although a part of me is secretly rooting for the underdogs to win ;)