Heartache hurts more than any physical pain I have experienced so far, and there is just no real way to escape it.
I have always tried to avoid getting really hurt in a relationship. I probably never really put in 100% - I guess you can say that I am selfish, but I guess one of my biggest fears is to be completely vulnerable to another person.
"Smart" quotes always tell you to give it your 100%, and "love like you've never been hurt before", and things like "it's better to have love and lost, then never to have loved at all." But seriously, I think very few people who have actually experienced heartbreak before would actually go into future relationships 100% again without some sort of self control and protection.
The first time I was really heartbroken was breaking up with my first bf. I couldn't eat, couldn't concerntrate, and cried myself to sleep every night. I thought I would never care about anyone else again. It was one of the worst months of my life.
After that experience, I learned my lesson and 'protected' myself. I never really trusted another guy again, and also used "self control" - not falling head over heels for people and always trying to limit myself in not making someone too important in my life.
Recently, I broke up with my bf. We almost reached 1.5 years. These two weeks since things ended have been so confusing and difficult. I've cried, laughed, then cried again (oh my god I'm not crazy.. i swear x_X!!) I've never experienced anything like it.
Sometimes I feel bitter over how things turned out, because I feel that it was he who chose a future path that didn't include me.
Sometimes I feel regret, over things I could have done differently (such as starting the relationship in the first place!! haha jkjk).
Sometimes I'm so sad, because we had such happy times together and yet things still came to an end.
It's confusing to me, and I don't know if it is because I am too naiive. Friends have said "sometimes you meet the right person, but it's just not the right time or place." or "sometimes no matter how much u love someone you just can't be with them."
Well these things sound bullshit to me. Coz IF you do love someone then what is there to stop you from being together?
Maybe he just didn't love me.
I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore. I hate break ups.